Tragic Santa

(With music of Jingle Bells)

Santa Claus in bed,
Is drinking some sweet rum.
“This is good,” he said,
“`Cause you’ll become dumb!”

“Then you’ll happily,
Pee on your Christmas tree.
And when you eventually get over it you’ll be pissed at me.”
OH!
What the hell, stockings smell. Santa Claus just said,
“Having breakfast served should always be in your bed!”
What the hell, PRESENTS smell? Santa Claus has said,
“Then you’ll have a lesser chance of falling on your head.”

Suddenly Saint Nick,
Forgot about his weight,
Fell and hurt his dick:
His wife came in too late.

He had a surgery,
But just still couldn’t pee,
And died of cancer in his kidneys and his sore old knee!
OH!
Ring-a-ling. Let us sing the funeral song.
“With the death of Santa Claus what else could go that wrong?”
Ring-a-ling. Ping-oh-ding. What’s taking so long?
“The death bell tumbled onto a singer with a GONG!