We Wish You a Merry Christmas!

(With the music of We Wish You a Merry Christmas)

We wish you a merry Christmas; But I won’t give you a dear kiss;`cause soon it is going to be a Happy New Year!

Chorus: Look at the people, all drunk with root beer.
Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Now, make us strawbery sundaes; now, make us strawbery sundaes; now, make us strawbery sundaes and bring them over here!
Chorus

We would like some more peanuts; we would like some more peanuts; we would like some more peanuts: so bring some over here!
Chorus

Why did you give us almonds?; why did you give us almonds?; why did you give us almonds?; go throw it out there!
Chorus

Santa is Back!

(With the music of Jingle Bell Rock)

Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa is back.
Santa revives and Santa is high.
Jiggling and wiggling in his little hut;
Then a fart erupts from his butt.

Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa is back.
Santa Claus sings in the Santa Claus ring.
Farting and burping in Santa Claus square;
In the jolly air!

What a cool night to have a fool night
And bade the day away.
Santa’s fun night is just one night
So grab your toys and let’s go play.

Kick the ball little elves
Stop wasting time;
Kick the ball around the tree.
Then let’s get out of this cold snowy slime!
This is Santa Claus
This is Santa Claus
This is Santa Claus FREE!!!

Tragic Santa

(With music of Jingle Bells)

Santa Claus in bed,
Is drinking some sweet rum.
“This is good,” he said,
“`Cause you’ll become dumb!”

“Then you’ll happily,
Pee on your Christmas tree.
And when you eventually get over it you’ll be pissed at me.”
OH!
What the hell, stockings smell. Santa Claus just said,
“Having breakfast served should always be in your bed!”
What the hell, PRESENTS smell? Santa Claus has said,
“Then you’ll have a lesser chance of falling on your head.”

Suddenly Saint Nick,
Forgot about his weight,
Fell and hurt his dick:
His wife came in too late.

He had a surgery,
But just still couldn’t pee,
And died of cancer in his kidneys and his sore old knee!
OH!
Ring-a-ling. Let us sing the funeral song.
“With the death of Santa Claus what else could go that wrong?”
Ring-a-ling. Ping-oh-ding. What’s taking so long?
“The death bell tumbled onto a singer with a GONG!

Thoughts of X-mas

(With the music of Deck the Halls)

Thoughts of Halloween are fading. falalalala lala la la (Chorus)
Christmas Spirit is a` waiting. Chorus
Time for caring,
End to scaring! Chorus
Eat your candy, then go sharing. Chorus

Pumpkins in the garbage rotting; Chorus
Presents in the chimney clotting; Chorus
Plates of cookies,
Shelves of bookies. Chorus
Santa Claus is still home plotting. Chorus

Laughing merrily together, Chorus
Singing happily with pleasure, Chorus
Smiling hearty,
In a party; Chorus
Friends are really a big treasure! Chorus